Published in Mobiles

Apple agrees to help French flight inquiry

by on29 May 2017

Ipad and iPhone might have crashed a plane

Fruity cargo-cult Apple has agreed to help a French inquiry into a plane crash.

It is thought that EgyptAir Flight 804 crashed in 2016 because its Apple fanboy First Officer plugged an iPhone 6s and an iPad mini 4 into the wrong socket in the jet's cockpit. The act may have triggered runaway heat, in turn sparking a fire in the devices.

The investigation is being helped by an engineer from the French National Centre for Scientific Research, as well as two people from the French defence ministry, including a physics professor and an engineer specialising in batteries.

Results from the investigation should be submitted by 30 September.

Apple insisted that it “wasn't aware of evidence” linking its devices to the EgyptAir disaster. But then it does automatically stuff its fingers in its ears and shout la la la when anyone says Apple is involved when something goes wrong.

Batteries in the company's products are occasionally blamed for causing fires. Most recently, an Australian woman complained that her Beats headphones exploded mid-flight, but Apple blamed the incident on her using third-party batteries.

Putting cheaper third party batteries in Apple products results in an automatic curse from the Great Apple god and his "profit" Steve Jobs. She was lucky not to have been killed when the curse struck.

Everyone knows that only Samsung phones catch fire, and never ever Apple phones, which are perfect.

The company has had to admit fault in the past, for instance instituting two replacement programmes for the first-generation iPod nano.

EgyptAir Flight 804 vanished over the Mediterranean on May 19 last year, killing 66 people. The jet was flying from Paris to Cairo at 37,000 feet when it suddenly veered 90 degrees to the left, then 360 degrees to the right, and began dropping altitude.

Last modified on 29 May 2017
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