News - subcat

Apple increases music charges for students
Published in News


It is not as if they are listening to real music anyway

Fruity cargo cult Apple has decided to jack up the monthly fee it charges kids to listen to its music service.

New iPhones and iPad break Apple Music
Published in Mobiles
Friday, 24 September 2021 11:06

New iPhones and iPad break Apple Music


New software feature


The software geniuses who bought you a watch app which could not handle summer time, have now said that a device restore will tigger its premium music product software.

Jobs’ Mob considers price cut on Apple Music
Published in News
Tuesday, 01 November 2016 12:44

Jobs’ Mob considers price cut on Apple Music


Too much competition

Fruity, tax-dodging, cargo cult Apple is slowly realising that its Apple Music streaming product is about as popular as the Boston Strangler.

Apple talks about Apple Music and App Store
Published in Gaming
Wednesday, 07 September 2016 19:16

Apple talks about Apple Music and App Store


Introduces new Nintendo Super Mario Run game

Apple has kicked off its Apple event in San Francisco, California talking about both its Apple Music and its App Store, with a special focus on games.

Spotify makes $15 Family plan
Published in News
Tuesday, 24 May 2016 15:02

Spotify makes $15 Family plan


To match Apple and Google’s offering

Spotify is the last of big streaming names to finally settle for a US $15 plan that will cover all of your family, or at last up to five people. 

Apple admits deleting music collections
Published in Mobiles


Clueless as to why

Fruity cargo cult Apple has admitted that its super-cool, innovative, cutting edge, music streaming software does delete users’ old record collections. However it has reassured users that the software genii it hires can’t work out why it does this.

Apple autocratically deletes music from your hard-drive
Published in News


Making you pay twice 

Job’s Mob has started purging the hard-drives of Apple fanboys to force them to use its god-awful music streaming business.

Apple Music has 11 million subscribers
Published in News
Monday, 15 February 2016 10:28

Apple Music has 11 million subscribers


But Spotify is still the market leader with 20 million.

Apple is claiming that its Apple Music product has 11 million subscribers – slightly half of what its main rival Spotify can come up with.

Apple Music exec fails to understand women
Published in News
Friday, 20 November 2015 12:45

Apple Music exec fails to understand women


More bildge from Jimmy Iovine

Fruity cargo cult Apple revealed that it is essentially a religion for fanboys rather than fangirls, after a top executive demonstrated a complete lack of understanding what women actually do.

Apple Music losing customers
Published in News
Wednesday, 19 August 2015 14:19

Apple Music losing customers


Jobs' Mob denies it

Apple Music is losing customers according to a survey of 5,000 US consumers.