Romance disappears into servers

In five years from now you can abandon dating sites – if you want a squeeze - because artificial intelligence will even prompt you with chat-up lines and find the right person for you.

And they wonder why they can't breed

More than 17 percent of people who buy Apple ear-buds are so attached to their over-priced and useless gear they don't take them out even to have sex.

No sex please we are British

When Steve Jobs popularised smartphone technology he had no idea that he would be personally responsible for stopping British people from having sex.

The cost of making things go away

Google has paid millions to former directors who were accused of being sex pests at work and shareholders and staff are furious.

What a way to go

Sex robots could be hijacked by hackers and used to cause harm or even kill people.

But allows terrorism and racism

Apple’s new iPhone parental controls have taken the pulse of Trump’s America and are blocking sex education sites while allowing kids to search racist, terrorism and violent sites.

Sad story of the day

A quarter of people have such lonely and miserable lives they want to have sex with their Amazon assistant.

Think of the children

The UK government has decided that it will ban all web sites which depict “unconventional sex”.

All do do with the hours they work