Apple update warns users about their earbuds
Published in News


Software Genii strike again

Apple’s software genii, who have been unable to wrote code which allows the iPhone to tell the time correctly, have had another breakthrough fixing tracking tags which are being used to stalk people.

Brussels charge Apple with playing monopoly
Published in News


Apple Pay in the dock


The EU has charged Apple with breaking EU competition law by abusing its dominant position in mobile payments to limit rivals' access to contactless technology.

Apple claims Rivos stole its “advanced” computer secrets
Published in PC Hardware


Poached two of its engineers

Fruity and nutty cargo-cult Apple claims that a tech start-up Rivos poached two of its engineers and nicked its ideas for system on a chip technology.

Apple failing to get goods to customers
Published in News


Longer waiting lists

While the fruit and nutty cargo cult Apple is reporting huge profits, a large number of its customers are being expected to wait months to get their new shiny toys.

All Arm-based chips are M1 apparently
Published in News


Tame Apple Press loses the plot

This morning a Tame Apple Press report crossed our desk claimed that Qualcomm was daring to make M1 chips to compete against Apple.

Apple’s “self-repair programme” is pants
Published in Mobiles


iFixit rubbishes the whole operation


While the Tame Apple Press has been telling the world+dog how wonderful their favourite company is for allowing fanboys to repair phones that they have paid a fortune for, those who know about repairing kits say the scheme is rubbish.

Apple hires union busting lawyers
Published in News


A much better idea than allowing staff to negotiate with management

Fruity and nutty cargo cult Apple has hired an anti-union law firm known for high-profile clients such as Starbucks, McDonald's and Nissan.

Apple stuffing up Coinbase’s roadmap
Published in News


Anti-trust

Apple’s App Store rules have hampered Coinbase’s product roadmap and the outfit has slammed Jobs’ Mob for banning features from its app and generally not being friendly with the cryptocurrency industry.

Apple abuses its Brazilian users by selling phones without chargers
Published in Mobiles


Warning to Musk

Apple’s cunning plan to screw more money out of users by making them pay extra for a charger has run into trouble in Brazil (picture shows Brazilian Dodge Charger as opposed to a charger dodge).

Puritan Apple declares war on flesh
Published in News


iPhones will scan for naked bodies

Fruit and nutty cargo cult Apple has decided to purge all naked bodies from iPhones and will scan for what its software experts say are “sexually explicit images” in the Messages app on iPhones, iPads, and Macs.